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February 19, 2009
One Of The Most Glorious Days Of Our Republic
...Was the day Miracle Whip Died
Today we take a sad look back at the dark day in 2006 when Kraft Foods made the horrible decision to change the recipe for Miracle Whip. In one fell swoop they destroyed a classic American tradition and pushed civilization one step closer to the abyss. We’ve never fully recovered.
While those of us who have class and dignity rightly rejoice in the triumph of the one true brand, sadly there are others who cling to their failed and false idol.
(via Insta, who sadly is whipped)
Posted by Mr. Bingley at February 19, 2009 08:18 AM
Comments
Hellmann's is the official CrabAppleLane mayonnaise. Imposters need not apply.
Posted by: Rob at February 19, 2009 09:51 AM
Here's some further scientific evidence.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 19, 2009 10:10 AM
Miracle Whip in potato salad? That's infamy. Well, sacrilege at least. What a waste of potatoes.
Posted by: Rob at February 19, 2009 10:23 AM
Both substances are equally vile. However, you can use mayonnaise to make garlic aioli and remoulade sauce, which are not vile. I don't know what you can do with Miracle Whip. Oil the creaky hinges in your cupboard doors? Anything but eat it.
Posted by: Andrea Harris at February 19, 2009 12:32 PM
I have seen this kind of condimentist talk here before and it always troubles me. In a multi-condiment world you would think we've moved beyond such Whipophobia, but sadly, no. In fact, the vehemence on display here suggests to me that we may have a case or two of latent, or even closeted, Whipuality.
We should be able to talk about this, but in things condimental we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards.
Posted by: Dave E. at February 19, 2009 06:30 PM
Brilliant, Dave!
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 20, 2009 06:10 AM
I had no idea! Not that I eat the stuff--my aunt worked for Best Foods for years. (Yup, showing my North Jersey roots.) Now, the real sadness was when they discontinued Golden Griddle, the best pancake syrup ever.
Posted by: Kate P at February 20, 2009 11:53 AM
Your aunt must be a glorious person!
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 20, 2009 03:21 PM
BRILLIANT, Dave!!!!!!
Posted by: tree hugging sister at February 20, 2009 06:34 PM
Bingley, I tell you, when my sibs and I were kids and she gave us a giant jar of Skippy shaped like a squirrel, we thought that was AWESOME and she was the best aunt EVER. It was a sad day when Best Foods was bought--she got out pronto. It's definitely not the same company it was.
Posted by: Kate P at February 23, 2009 12:04 AM