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July 14, 2005
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me...
Than have to have a frontal lobotomy...
It really is amazing, and frankly somewhat sickening, that this 'procedure' was done on some 50,000 people in the US alone.
Other doctors used a more primitive version than Moniz, punching an ice pick into the brain above the eye socket and blindly manipulating it to sever nerve fibers.
Nice, huh?
The truly shocking thing is that the inventor of this "miracle breakthrough" (whose name was not Mengele, btw), a Portuguese neurologist named Egas Moniz, was awarded the Nobel Prize for medicine in 1949. Un-farking believeable.
"First, do no harm" my ass.
Ah, hell. You knew I'd have to print these:
I'D RATHER HAVE A BOTTLE IN FRONT OF ME (Randy Hanzlick)
Jimmy and I were brothers.
We went down different paths.
Jimmy always listened to my mother,
And me, I never like to take a bath.As we grew and tumbled through adulthood
The pressure caused emotional drain.
So now I'm slowly dying in the bottle
and Jimmy has to live with half a brain.Yes, me, I've got a bottle in front of me,
And Jimmy has a frontal lobotomy.
Just different ways to kill the pain the same.But I'd rather have a bottle in front of me,
Than have to have a frontal lobotomy.
I might be drunk, but at least I'm not insane.Jimmy let his troubles drive him crazy.
He never tried to drown it in a drink.
I know that drinking makes my thinking hazy,
But at least I still have brains enough to think.Jimmy's got a brain that isn't stable.
He doesn't have the sense to say his name.
I'm sorry that his doctor was unable
To remove the proper portion of his brain.Yes, me, I've got a bottle in front of me,
And Jimmy has a frontal lobotomy.
Just different ways to kill the pain the same.But I'd rather have a bottle in front of me,
Than have to have a frontal lobotomy.
I might be drunk, but at least I'm not insane.Funny how the world works.
People can be real jerks.
Some prefer the tension over booze.Either way it ends the same.
Hard to beat the living game.
Might as well enjoy it while you lose.When I need a drink I start to shiver
And Jimmy always viewed it with concern.
But I'd rather have cirrhosis of the liver
Than an intellect that's second to a fern.I wonder if old Jimmy's gonna hear it
When I tell him that his logic wasn't sound.
They'll dose him up on lots of evil spirits
When they take him to the psychiatric grounds.Yes, me, I've got a bottle in front of me,
And Jimmy has a frontal lobotomy.
Just different ways to kill the pain the same.But I'd rather have a bottle in front of me,
Than have to have a frontal lobotomy.
I might be drunk, but at least I'm not insane.
I might be drunk, but at least I'm not insane!
Posted by Mr. Bingley at July 14, 2005 12:19 PM
Comments
And you thought Jim-may Carter getting the Nobel Prize was a travesty...
They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-haaa!
Remember when you ran away
And I got on my knees
And begged you not to leave
Because I'd go berserk?
Well. . .
You left me anyhow
And then the days got worse and worse
And now you see I've gone
Completely out of my mind
And. . .
They're coming to take me away, HA HA
They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
You thought it was a joke
And so you laughed
You laughed when I had said
That losing you would make me flip my lid
Right. . .
You know you laughed, I heard you laugh
You laughed, you laughed and laughed
And then you left
But now you know I'm utterly mad!
And. . .
They're coming to take me away, HA HA
They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
I cooked your food
I cleaned your house
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind, unselfish loving deeds?!!
Hah. . .
Well you just wait
They'll find you yet
And when they do they'll
Put you in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!
And. . .
They're coming to take me away, HA HA
They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
Posted by: tree hugging sister at July 14, 2005 12:37 PM
Sad to think that this was not that long ago.
Posted by: Crusader at July 14, 2005 01:17 PM
So sad. Tennessee Williams' sister had one and probably, if she had been born now - a couple of antidepressants and a vibrator would have solved her problems. (Sorry to be blunt but it seems to be the case.) She was brutally lobotomized and Tennessee was haunted by her forever. He based Laura in Glass Menagerie on her ... this wounded delicate soul.
Posted by: red at July 14, 2005 09:36 PM
Didn't they visit some similar atrocity on Rosemary Kennedy, since Daddy Joe couldn't handle having a 'slow' child in his stable of geniuses? I've always heard she was functional prior to that and an institutional mushroom afterward, bless her heart.
Posted by: tree hugging sister at July 14, 2005 09:45 PM
THS - yup. it's a travesty. Same thing with the actress Frances Farmer. She might have been a little bit wild and unconventional - but after the lobotomy she had to be institutinalized. Brutal.
Posted by: red at July 14, 2005 10:13 PM
I just can't imagine someone thinking "yeah, makes sense, nuking half her brain."
My god.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at July 15, 2005 12:25 AM
It makes Ritalin seem like friggin' Good N' Plenty.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at July 15, 2005 12:26 AM