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February 26, 2009

"Homeland Security" My Ass

Well, technically it's the Hugh Moore Historical Park's asses

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A federal anti-terror law that requires longshoremen, truckers and others to submit to criminal background checks has ensnared another class of transportation worker -- mule drivers. Mule skinners must abide by federal law and apply for Transportation Worker Identification Credentials, TSA says.

Yes, so-called mule skinners -- in this case, seasonal workers who dress in colonial garb at a historical park in Easton, Pa. -- must apply for biometric Transportation Worker Identification Credentials (TWIC), according to the Transportation Security Administration, which says it is bound by federal law.

The requirement has officials of the Hugh Moore Historical Park perplexed.

"We have one boat. It's pulled by two mules. On a good day they might go 2 miles per hour," said Sarah B. Hays, the park's director of operations.

The park's two-mile canal does not pass any military bases, nuclear power plants or other sensitive facilities. And, park officials say, the mules could be considered weapons of mass destruction only if they were aimed at something resembling food.

... On Wednesday, the mule skinner debate reached Capitol Hill, when Dent asked new Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano about the necessity of conducting background checks on mule drivers. He displayed a photo of two mules, Hank and George, tugging a canal boat in the company of two park employee mule drivers in colonial working attire.

"Now Hank and George, while sometimes are ornery, they are not terrorists," Dent said. Napolitano said she would try to be flexible.

"Try to be flexible." Blech. What asinine bureaucrat-speak. How about just saying "This is stupid," Madame Secretary?

Do we really want the government regulating and licensing our asses?

Talk about invasion of privacy.

Posted by Mr. Bingley at February 26, 2009 07:38 AM

Comments

Don't you mean ASSinine?

It's the proper species designation, one would think.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at February 26, 2009 08:41 AM

My spelling's donkey-dory!

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 26, 2009 08:43 AM

Do we really want the government regulating and licensing our asses?

They already do.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at February 26, 2009 09:35 AM

Damn. I didn't think about it until after I hit the post button.

"All your ass are belong to us."

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at February 26, 2009 09:37 AM

Do we really want the government regulating and licensing our asses?

They couldn't find their own asses with both hands, so I'd say "NO."

Posted by: nightfly at February 26, 2009 01:20 PM

Do we really want the government regulating and licensing our asses?

Since the government wants us to kiss THEIR ass, my answer is "NO!"

Posted by: JeffS at February 26, 2009 02:57 PM

At least the fact-gathering was easy - they just looked in the mirror.

Posted by: nightfly at February 26, 2009 03:33 PM

I'm trying to think of something witty to say about these ASSinine people, but perhaps it would be better to put them on a mule driven boat to China...

Posted by: Teresa at February 26, 2009 09:21 PM