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January 16, 2009

Breaking News!

From our intrepid reporting staff:

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals today filed a lawsuit against USAir pilot Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger accusing him of wanton and premeditated cruelty to animals for his “vicious murder” of two Canadian Geese and causing “incalculable environmental harm” for his “reckless spillage” of several thousand gallons of kerosene into the fragile ecosystem of the Lower Hudson Watershed.

“Imagine the last moments of sheer terror of those poor beautiful creatures,” PETA spokesperson Denia Humana said, “as this “Sully” stalked them down and fed them into the gaping maws of his ferocious carbon-spewing Cuisinarts. And then to compound his genocide he imperils countless millions of Sea Kittens by cruelly and calculatingly finding the one place to land his Sky Murderer that would cause maximum damage to Gaia’s innocents. I mean, couldn’t he have used a building or something?”

Posted by Mr. Bingley at January 16, 2009 09:25 AM

Comments

lol

Posted by: Ebola at January 16, 2009 12:36 PM

Haha...and you just know that somebody in PETA is really thinking something along those lines.

Posted by: Dave E. at January 16, 2009 01:12 PM

'Cept, this was the Hudson, so they're technically not Sea Kittens.

Freshwater Kittens? Sludge Kittens?

(Actually, Sludge Kittens would be an awesome band name.)

Posted by: ricki at January 16, 2009 01:21 PM

ROFLMAO - oh excellent.

Posted by: Teresa at January 16, 2009 01:45 PM

Sludge Kittens?

Channel Cats.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at January 16, 2009 02:58 PM

"sludge kittens"

that's a great name for a band!

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at January 16, 2009 03:02 PM

Or "sludge kitten posse".

It's pretty clear from their website that PETA does not distinguish between fresh and salt water fish. They are all "sea kittens" in their eyes. It's the idiot icing on the stupid cake.

Posted by: Dave E. at January 16, 2009 03:42 PM

Sky Murderer

If I were a combat pilot, that would be the name of my plane...

Posted by: WunderKraut at January 16, 2009 04:25 PM

I actually had to read that twice to realize it's a joke.

(It is a joke, right?)

Posted by: Gunslinger at January 16, 2009 05:02 PM

You shameless suck-up, Guns.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at January 16, 2009 06:06 PM

pAt26F

Posted by: Zoaczlgv at July 15, 2009 07:47 AM

pAt26F

Posted by: Zoaczlgv at July 15, 2009 07:48 AM