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May 15, 2008
Is Angelina Jolie Canadian?
Via Ace, I mean, I know the winters are mighty long up in The Great White North, and Canadians are upset about polar bear testicles and stuff, but it seems to me that this is carrying their carvingcraving for some Nanook nookie a little too far
A Winnipeg woman who accidentally plunged a knife into her boyfriend's chest during a drunken bout of rough sex received a three-year conditional discharge yesterday.... Allan said the man and woman had been drinking heavily and were engaged in "rough sex activities" when the man requested she "carve artwork" into his chest.
"He said they engaged in dangerous play, and due to her intoxication, was not precise with the knife and punctured his heart," Allan said.
The man told police the stabbing was an accident and that the two routinely cut and scratched each other with knives. The man showed police several wounds, including a heart-shaped scar on his back featuring the woman's initials.
I wonder if she made him a "get well carve"?
Her teachers always said she was a knife girl from a good family.
Posted by Mr. Bingley at May 15, 2008 02:01 PM
Comments
Obviously her chest-carving skill could use a little honing, but I wonder what whetted their appetite for rough sex in the first place?
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at May 15, 2008 02:21 PM
So in the middle of the rough play, did they stop for the haft-time show?
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at May 15, 2008 02:23 PM
It'd be funny if his name was Dirk. Or if the incident turned him off women and he bacame a gay blade.
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at May 15, 2008 02:28 PM
I'm confused about this drunk-stuff, though.
Someone must have spiked his tang.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at May 15, 2008 02:39 PM
Strong enough to bone a breast, but delicate enough to skin a tomato!
Wait, what were we talking about?
Posted by: nightfly at May 15, 2008 02:47 PM
Ah dinna know, laddie! It's ginsu I nae can unner stand ye!
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at May 15, 2008 03:05 PM
I'm missing the Jolie connection . . .
Posted by: Skyler at May 15, 2008 03:05 PM
As they put him in the ambulance, he told her "I won't hold it a-ginsu."
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at May 15, 2008 03:05 PM
Dude, you type faster than I do!
And no, I don't get the Jolie part either.
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at May 15, 2008 03:06 PM
I've gathered (from reading front pages of Weekly World News-type mags whilst waiting in check out lines) that she and her ex used to be quite a bunch of cut-ups, and that she used to carry a vial of his blood around with her.
But maybe my title was too edgy for you.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at May 15, 2008 03:09 PM
I heard they both were Bowie fans.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at May 15, 2008 03:11 PM
It was, but now that you explain it, it sounds pretty keen.
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at May 15, 2008 03:12 PM
Kind of sounds like she and her ex were real hell-razors.
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at May 15, 2008 03:13 PM
and they met at the K-Bar.
They used to go to the Buck, but it has since folded.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at May 15, 2008 03:14 PM
When he first saw her he said "Ah, there is the girl I Wusthof!"
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at May 15, 2008 03:19 PM
Ah! A Tom Lehrer reference! Very sharp!
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at May 15, 2008 03:21 PM
I knew hewed get that, Ken.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at May 15, 2008 03:24 PM
Yep. Age may be whittling my memory down a bit but I can't forget that one.
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at May 15, 2008 03:32 PM
Boy, talk about sex on the edge......
Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at May 15, 2008 03:47 PM
You guys are a bunch of regular cut-ups. Maybe my mom was right when she said it was better to cut a rug with your boyfriend. . .
Posted by: Kate P at May 15, 2008 03:53 PM
They're still together? Obviously she hasn't gotten her fillet of him yet.
Posted by: Dave E. at May 15, 2008 04:17 PM
Is that a pocketknife, or are you happy to see me?
Posted by: nightfly at May 15, 2008 04:57 PM
Usually a girl sporting a pair of stilettos is a good thing.
Posted by: Gunslinger at May 15, 2008 05:25 PM