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April 25, 2008
He's Been Charged With A Moooooving Violation
Thanks (I think) to our friend Real JeffS for pointing this out
Authorities announced Moorestown Officer Robert Melia Jr., 38, has been charged with four counts of animal cruelty after allegedly engaging in sex acts with cows between June and December of 2006.
Oh, that's in addition to sexually assaulting three girls, naturally.
What the hell is up with some people, I just don't know.
And I'm not really sure I want to find out.
Posted by Mr. Bingley at April 25, 2008 07:49 AM
Comments
I can't believe this happened in Jersey. The jokes about bestiality usually involve other states.
Posted by: Tainted Bill at April 25, 2008 08:49 AM
In Jersey and with a Jersey, too.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at April 25, 2008 09:27 AM
De nada, Mr. Bingley. I thought maybe youse Joisy types were feeling a bit left out.
But I have to wonder.....if he did it in Jersey, and with a Jersey, was he wearing a Jersey as well?
Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at April 25, 2008 09:31 AM
So ferry 'cross the Guernsey...
(Sadly, I didn't make that joke up, but it applies in a way that the MST3K folks never wished to contemplate.)
Posted by: nightfly at April 25, 2008 09:44 AM
Well, I'm udderly disgusted.
Posted by: Kate P at April 25, 2008 10:57 AM
Cud you do any better than that, Kate?
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at April 25, 2008 11:07 AM
Drop the candy and step away from the child...wait, is that a cow? Sir? Hey! Drop the hay and step away from the flatulant quadriped!
Mr. Melia would like to shank all his supporters who he filets great love for. Mr. Melia feels that while the steaks were high, his methods were worthwhile. In other news, Miss Bessie will be behooved to wear black and white to his trial. PETA will no doubt be unhappy with the fact that she has choosen to wear fur.
Posted by: Ebola at April 25, 2008 11:07 AM
Leave it to my offspring to milk the sad situation for bovine puns.
Posted by: tree hugging sister at April 25, 2008 11:18 AM
Sometimes you have to rib the situation a bit, mum. Especially considering how...horny, Mr. Melia must be.
{/pun}Posted by: Ebola at April 25, 2008 11:20 AM
Well, it looks like he will have plenty of time to ruminant about what he's done.
Posted by: Dave E. at April 25, 2008 11:23 AM
Such tripe.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at April 25, 2008 11:25 AM
As Jed Clampett used to say, "Weeeellllll dogies"
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at April 25, 2008 11:41 AM
What this thread needs is a little more cowbell.
Posted by: nightfly at April 25, 2008 12:14 PM
You're going to need a bigger bovine.
Posted by: Julie at April 25, 2008 01:18 PM
No more worshiping cloven images for me.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at April 25, 2008 01:34 PM
MORE COWBELL!
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at April 25, 2008 02:21 PM
Conspiracy theorists believe there has been an ee-ville, secret cowbell controlling our every move for heifer. I wouldn't steer you wrong about that, honestly!
Posted by: tree hugging sister at April 25, 2008 05:33 PM
A Cow-Rove-ian bell, perhaps?
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at April 25, 2008 08:29 PM