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August 28, 2007

No, I 'Da Ho!

So Idaho Senator Larry Craig was arrested in Minneapolis for lewd behavior in a men's room

U.S. Sen. Larry Craig pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct this month after his arrest in a Minneapolis airport men’s room by an undercover officer who said Craig was sending signals that he wanted to have sex.

Craig said Monday his actions were misconstrued by police and that he should not have pleaded guilty to the charges.


Now, I love a good scandal as much as anyone, and a conservative republican getting hooked up in some gay sex solicitation in a public restroom is as juicy as a liberal democrat not wanting windmills 10 miles away blocking the view from his beach house in my book. Bring it on!

But when you read just exactly transpired here it sure seems like there's a very loose interpretation of what is 'lewd' going on here, and frankly I think we need to require a bit more substantial evidence before arresting someone for this behavior:

According to the police reports, a man, later identified as Craig, kept watching the undercover police officer through a crack in the stall. Craig then entered the next-door stall and placed his luggage against the opening under the stall door.

"My experience has shown that individuals engaging in lewd conduct use their bags to block the view from the front of their stall," said the officer, Sgt. Dave Karsnia, in the report.

Alright, the 'kept watching' bit is odd. As for the rest of it with apologies to Officer Karsnia but my experience has been that individuals taking a dump also place their bags against the opening at the front of the stall because there's no other place to put them, fer crimminy's sake.

The report continued: "At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly. While this was occurring, the male in the stall to my right was still present. I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to use the restroom for its intended use. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area."

Oh my God! He tapped his foot while taking a dump! He must want to scoff my chorizo!

"I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot."

This is the high standards of evidence that Minneapolis holds its police to? Are you kidding me? Do the Minneapolis Vice Police sing "Knock Three Times On The Stall Floor If You Want Me" along with Tony Orlando and Dawn during Talent Night at the Academy?

The report said Craig swiped his hand beneath the stall divider several times, and Karsnia showed his police identification under the stall.

Again, this is odd and weird, and for all I know he was interested in some stinky stall lust. But did he assault the cop? Did he verbally proposition him? No. Did he threaten him? No.

It is ridiculous that someone could be arrested on the basis of this.

Posted by Mr. Bingley at August 28, 2007 06:54 AM

Comments

Sorry, Mr. B. He's busted.

This paper was working on a long "investigation" into Craig's lifestyle when the story broke in Washington.

Touching the guy's foot? Waving under the guy's stall. That's a proposition.

Posted by: CJ at August 28, 2007 11:06 AM

Personally I thought that he was just asking for some TP - but then, why not just ASK?

I guess I'm not propositioned in public restrooms quite often enough to tell the difference.

Posted by: nightfly at August 28, 2007 11:25 AM

Is it really, CJ? I wonder how many propositions I've missed...

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 28, 2007 11:28 AM

There is the "Billy Graham" Rule that most pastors observe, that says to never be alone with a woman you are not related to, so that no one can make an accusation.

Will there soon be the "Larry Craig" Rule, where public figures will not go into public men's rooms unless accompanied by a staff member or friend just to cover their a---?(Ok, poor choice of words).

Posted by: barking spider at August 28, 2007 11:28 AM

Come on people...read the whole thing. No one's going to judge you. Sure, we all repeatedly wave our hand under the stall to the guy next to us and nudge his foot. Just being neighborly?

It's ultimately a sad story. A gay man trying to live a straight life. Resorting to rest rooms. It's a problem for such men and for the general public who'd rather not have that going on in their bathrooms.

The real questions are: The newspaper's "investigation" into Craig's sex life was prompted by a gay blogger out to help the Democrats win Congress. Would they have pursued internet sex rumors if it involved heterosexual sex? Is the defense that Craig was a conservative "hypocrite" a valid excuse?

Plenty of issues to debate, but I don't think his intentions are among them.

Posted by: CJ at August 28, 2007 12:10 PM

I would have thought "disorderly conduct" would be more like someone flopping his schlong out and waving it at somebody. But my real question is (leaving aside the ick factor of doing it in a public restroom), how do gay men desiring sex decide someone is a suitable target to approach? What was the undercover officer doing, if anything? Is gaydar real, or are US Senators just so oblivious to humiliation and self-destruction that they go full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes? Enquiring minds are really, really curious.

Posted by: RebeccaH at August 28, 2007 12:16 PM

cj ~ what we have here is a regional failure to communicate. Bingley only goes for the twenty dollar bill waved over the door ~ never under the stall wall. That's the standard in Manhattan. (He's out like a shot if you wave a fifty.)

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 28, 2007 12:21 PM

I do have my pride.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 28, 2007 12:41 PM

Ah...now I get it.

It's like ordering a cheesesteak. In Philly, you just say "Whiz, with" if you want Cheez Whiz and onions. Which, oddly, is the same thing you say if you want gay sex in the mens room.

Posted by: CJ at August 28, 2007 12:55 PM

You may be on to something there, CJ. There is one nasty public loo right across the street from Geno's.

I really need to go back there soon.

To Geno's, that is.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 28, 2007 01:24 PM

And maybe luck into some whiz BANG!

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 28, 2007 01:38 PM

I remember that post, Mr. B.

So many drunken nights ending there. Genos, that is.

Posted by: CJ at August 28, 2007 01:54 PM

"proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times,"

Now, WAIT a DAMN MINUTE! In girls' room parlance THAT means

"I'm outta sh*tpaper, can you pass me some?"

If you have some to spare, you then do the neighborly thing.

Men. You're such wankers ~ you think EVERYONE's dying to ogle your schwanz. Or worse ~ PAY to ogle it.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 28, 2007 02:17 PM

I may have to take a drive there Friday for some Whiz, with.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 28, 2007 02:17 PM

I'm a girl, and I guess this kind of stuff happens less in the ladies' room. But reading this story just makes me even MORE skeeved about public loos (especially those in transportation centers like airports).

Maybe Lisa Nowak (the crazy astronaut lady, which is what I Googled to be reminded of her name) had the right idea after all.

Or maybe Howard Hughes (in his Recluse Years) had the right idea after all.

Posted by: ricki at August 28, 2007 03:17 PM

Bings does not lie. That loo was beyond skeevy - it would have creeped out John Carpenter.

Posted by: nightfly at August 28, 2007 05:04 PM