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April 20, 2007

Dear Major Dad ~ Thank You For Your 30+ Years of Faithful Service...

...now fuck off.

So, basically that's where we stand. It's been 50 plus days since he headed off to retired land. Didn't see a check his first month and, being the patient sorts we are, asked his old group S-1 (who are under no obligation to help) to check into it. Bless their hearts, they did, explaining that the office dweeb answering the phone at DFAS Cleveland had said it was being 'reviewed'. After 30 years, they don't know who he is? Okey dokey, we'll wait.

His S-1 called again last week and got more 'being reviewed'. Okey dokey.

Today major dad gives up being polite and calls himself. Speaks to two people at various points in the foodchain, who parrot 'being reviewed'. "When will I get paid?" Simple question, with tap dancing for answers. "Probably 1 May."

"You're not giving me a warm fuzzy here. Probably? If it's not approved this week, WHEN will I get paid?"

"1 June. Probably."

"That's pretty unsatisfactory there, don't you think? After thirty years, WHAT has to be reviewed?"

After asking repeatedly, major dad identifies the source of all the pain. Headquarters Marine Corps had sent his retirement documents to DFAS$holes Cleveland...on paper. Not electronically. So they sat until someone got around to picking up pieces of paper in a moment of boredom. They KNEW they were retirement docs, but if they weren't on a computer screen? Sorry. Low priority.

This particular dweeb in the foodchain was the last one major dad could talk to, since the supervisors above his GS level were 'unavailable'. On a Friday afternoon? I'll bet. But he took md's number, so one of them can call him back. Probably.

Being reactive and fresh out of polite, we broke in our shiny new fax machine with a filled out Federal Case Form to Rep. Miller's office number. Will he have a chance to act on the fax?

Probably long before the senior dweebs call back. Or major dad gets paid.

Probably.

Posted by tree hugging sister at April 20, 2007 06:11 PM

Comments

"Being reactive and fresh out of polite"

I should think so after this nonsense. Give the bureaucraps hell, babe!

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at April 20, 2007 07:55 PM

Have you learned nothing? You should have used email, not a fax! That's so 80's.

Posted by: Mike Rentner at April 20, 2007 10:54 PM

Welcome to the world of dealing with the DFAS, I'm surprised you even got through without waiting on hold for a day or so. Wonder what they would do if you demanded interest on the overdue amount? Course, it could just be karma for the mailbag thingy… Be good and as always, I enjoy your writing.

Posted by: Mike at April 20, 2007 11:17 PM

DFAS, huh? I had a pay problem during my first post 9/11 tour (i.e., I stopped getting paid, thanks a f**k up in the database over my MRD), and it required intervention from the DA level....which would not have happened if the deputy commander did not have a good friend in the right position who owed him a favor or three.

Good luck. And keep on being a squeaky wheel.

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at April 20, 2007 11:48 PM