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February 07, 2007

"Cake or Death?"

Cake, please. It's his birthday.

"There's no Church of England fundamentalism. We can't have Church of England fundamentalism. You know, like they have Islamic fundamentalism. Jihad! … Ah ha … Church of England fundamentalism is impossible because you can't have: "You must have tea and cake with the vicar or you die!" Tea and cake or death! Students with beards, "Tea and cake or death! Tea and cake or death! Little Red Cookbook! Little Red Cookbook!" Ca – you know, 'cause, "Cake or death?" That's a pretty easy question. Everybody – anyone could answer that. "Cake or death?" "Uhh, cake please." "Very well! Give him cake!" "Oh, thanks very much. It's very nice!" "You! Cake or death?" "Uh, cake for me, too, please!" "Very well! Give him cake, too! We're gonna run out of cake at this rate. You! Cake or death?" "Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry …" "You said death first, ah-ha, ah-ha, death first!" "Well, I meant cake!" "Oh, all right. You're lucky I'm Church of England! Cake or death?" "Uh, cake please." "Well, we're out of cake! We only had three bits and we didn't expect such a rush! So what'll it be?"

"What, so my choice is 'or death?' Well, then I'll have the chicken, please.""


Posted by tree hugging sister at February 7, 2007 08:46 AM

Comments

Where'd you find my college photos?

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 7, 2007 09:01 AM

WTF?

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at February 7, 2007 09:13 AM

I have no idea, Ken.

Sometimes it's best not to ask; just nod, smile and move along.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 7, 2007 09:14 AM

Emily will know.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at February 7, 2007 09:17 AM

I think that he should be packing an MP44, not a rifle. Those go better with lace.

Oh, and I'm no expert, but his lipstick seems to be the wrong shade of red for a black dress. Perhaps something in pastel?

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at February 7, 2007 10:02 AM

You know, Jeff (or schmaybe you don't), that you should go bold with your lipstick if your eye colors are muted or vice versa. Never, NEVER clown face vivid from brow to chin. Now, since black washes you out, there needs to be that little bit o' lagniappe to make it striking ~ a touch of verve ~ hence a dramatic red is the lipcolour of choice. (Pastels with black make you look like a corpse.)

Tastefully understated is the key. Plus, the dress is looking a tad bedraggled, so I'm thinking some may have worn off.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at February 7, 2007 10:10 AM

That be the wonderfully brilliant Eddie Izzard.

Posted by: Emily at February 7, 2007 10:50 AM

Thank you, THS. Obviously, I have more experience with firearms than I do with make up.

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at February 7, 2007 11:05 AM

Bingley on the other hand...

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at February 7, 2007 11:06 AM

I thought Bingley hates the way he looks in black lace?

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at February 7, 2007 11:27 AM

I knew she'd know.

But the rest of you...

Posted by: tree hugging sister at February 7, 2007 11:48 AM

Whip that black lace into something kiltish and Bingley'd be all over that like stank on poo.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at February 7, 2007 11:49 AM

Black lace always makes me look fat.

Black fishnets, on the other hand, are quite slimming.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 7, 2007 11:53 AM

I've always been jealous of Bingley for being one of those blokes who could pull off the fishnets without looking like a complete whore. Bastard.

Posted by: Emily at February 7, 2007 12:09 PM

Actually, I should have recognized Eddie Izzard, having watched some of his specials on the boob tube. But the thought of Mr. Bingley in black lace or fishnets has disturbed my cognitive abilities this morning.....and not in a good way. Especially in light of Emily's last comment.

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at February 7, 2007 12:35 PM

sniff

I love you, Emily.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 7, 2007 02:44 PM

Have to admit the man has a flair. And he certainly knows how to accessorize...

Though the gun should be black...

Posted by: Kathy K at February 7, 2007 06:35 PM

The gun should be belt-fed, not a bolt-action. Belts go with lace.

Posted by: DirtCrashr at February 8, 2007 07:21 PM