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January 08, 2007

Now You Too Can Tell a Stranger to 'Sacre...

...your bleu'.

A Paris tourism agency is ready to concede what many Americans and Britons have long contended: The French are rude.

...France's famed indifference toward outsiders is actually part of the country's charm and can be a marketing asset, says the Paris Ile-de-France tourism office. The office has launched an online ad campaign called "C'est so Paris" — "It's so Paris" — designed to show foreign tourists "how to cop the Parisian attitude."

The campaign was put together to address concerns that the British — France's biggest source of tourism revenue — have begun to find the French so off-putting that they are visiting in fewer numbers.

The campaign's English-language website — www.cestsoparis.com — shows British tourists how to decode and mimic the gestures of condescending waiters, indifferent taxi drivers and pouting mademoiselles. It encourages Britons to "act" French, even if they can't speak a word of the language.

The "Red Cards" (a little Zidane there...?) are especially rude and come with a 'not for polite company' warning.

It's comforting to know that, since there just AREN'T ENOUGH rude people in the world, someone is willing to go the extra Flash presentation mile to make sure we have a chance to be as effortlessly rude as the French. If this helps you achieve one of your own personal a$$pirations...beat yourself over the head with this popular French icon, s'il vous plaît.

See how easy it is to be polite?

UPDATE: Avec!! Le warnings!

If this fair place were inexplicably and horribly transmogrified into France, I would NOT be so queeks to tell Msr. Summairs to "bite moi". I am wonderings what gesture le dinnair made to le snacker wheech peesed heem offs? Oui oui in le cage aux folles?

Prisoner probably ate parts of cellmate

A French prisoner who killed his cellmate "very probably" ate some of the victim's body parts, a prosecutor in the northern town of Rouen said on Friday.

In all seriousness, I do have the polite phrase to handle this situation, complete with pronunciation guide. Repeate vous:
"For dessert, what would you suggest to get the taste of the main course out of my mouth?"

"Comme dessert, que me suggereriez-vous pour effacer le goût du plat de resistance de ma bouche?"
(com de - zert com - en ke me su - zhair - er - i - ay voo poor eff - ah - say le goo du pla de re - zi - stans de ma boosh)

Lord, you can just about take me anywhere and I'll make friends.
I thank Msr. Crittenden for le heads off up.

Posted by tree hugging sister at January 8, 2007 08:58 AM


I did NOT click on that last link. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 17 times in a row, shame on me.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at January 8, 2007 09:50 AM

Get a grip. It's the Eiffel Tower.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at January 8, 2007 10:40 AM

Uh huh. If you want me to believe that, you should change the url for the link.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at January 8, 2007 10:54 AM

Oh, you think you're so smart.

You're a rude as Frenchman.



Posted by: tree hugging sister at January 8, 2007 10:58 AM



Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at January 8, 2007 11:10 AM



Posted by: tree hugging sister at January 8, 2007 11:16 AM

I read about this last week. Yeah, we can't keep our citizens from acting like unwelcoming jerks, so we'll teach the tourists to adapt and give them lessons in how to be rude in return. No thanks. Learning enough of the local language and cultural expectations I can handle. I don't want to minor in A$$hole Studies before I travel. There are enough pretty places in the world. How about I just skip France?

Posted by: Emily at January 8, 2007 11:19 AM

How about I just skip France?

That was my policy when I was stationed in Germany, back in the early 1980's. Worked fine then, and I see no reason to change it now.

Oh, and Sis? Try www.tinyurl.com....it'll hide Huffendork's name.

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at January 8, 2007 11:41 AM

My dad was stationed in Kaiserslautern, right near the border of France back in the early-to-mid eighties and I think we probably visited some of the border cities, but thank goodness my parents never had much of an interest in driving us all over that country. They took us to Spain, Italy, Austria and Switzerland instead.

Posted by: Emily at January 8, 2007 11:46 AM

Bloody French

Posted by: colin at January 8, 2007 12:06 PM

I've always favored the classic "ugly American" method of slapping the Gallic snot out of any damn Frog who pretends they don't understand English.

I generally take their wallet, too. It's not like they're gonna do anything about it, after all...

Posted by: mojo at January 8, 2007 01:11 PM

"What if Slurm is made of... people?!?"
"It isn't. There's already a drink like that - Soylent Cola."
"Well, how's it taste?"
"It varies from person to person."

Posted by: Nightfly at January 8, 2007 04:55 PM

A moment of silence for the dead cellmate.


Enough. Carry on.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at January 8, 2007 07:12 PM

You know, it's really too bad Kitt never read articles like the French cannibal one. He could have saved the world much misery.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at January 8, 2007 07:14 PM