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November 30, 2006

That Explains the Sudden Surge of Horse Sex Interest

It's a headline linked on Drudge...

Sundance picks Seattle film on horse-sex case; Snoop Dogg arrested

...and there must be thousands of Drudgites scratching their heads and not trusting their lying eyes. In a quest for knowledge, they Google and find us, the subject matter experts. Tracking all this down, I've found some unintentionally hilarious quotes like this example:
"A very disturbing story as a Seattle man has died following a bizarre case of bestiality."

(Good Lord, Jimmy Olsen ~ aren't all bestiality cases...bizarre? It's the nature of the...dare I say it?)

But for chock full o' nuts hilarity, this article takes the cake.
Closing the Barn Door
The bizarre death of a man who had sex with a horse made dreadful headlines. State Sen. Pam Roach, R-Auburn, however, plans to continue her push for a law barring such acts, worried the case revealed "an animal sex ring, a magnet for syndication of the sexual abuse of animals. People came from outside this state to engage in this activity because people knew they wouldn't be arrested."

She should be worried ~ 'Roaches' are people, too.
...Urquhart of the sheriff's office says that "typically," men were having sex with a horse on Tait's property, "but on this particular night it is my understanding that horse wasn't particularly receptive."

Everyone has a headache now and then.
...Tait and the man who later died both had sex with the neighbor's horse that night, according to the charging papers. The second man died while Tait was videotaping the encounter. The tape was later shown to the couple that owns the barn so they could confirm it was their horse, known as Big Dick.

Comparatively speaking, that is. Around other horses down on the farm, Big Dick was often mocked for the relative puniness of his equippage.
Here's where a well meaning elected official meddles in things she has no inkling of.
...Though she considered adding an Internet provision, she admits any such ban would be difficult to police—in part because the Internet is already teeming with animal-porn sites, such as Zoo Porn, which offers "zoo dating."

Obviously the woman has never been in a Marine Corps Enlisted Club on payday night.
...But her final bill will have to be carefully written, she adds, to exclude some farm-sex acts.

Common sense rules at last. I mean, what if the horse comes on to you?

I know. Just say 'neigh'.

Posted by tree hugging sister at November 30, 2006 04:11 PM

Comments

She has a point, ths. People really shouldn't horse around.

Posted by: Rob at November 30, 2006 05:49 PM

Man, this just gets my goat.

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at November 30, 2006 06:06 PM

Of course, I feel pretty sheepish about saying that, what with Ken reading this blog.

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at November 30, 2006 06:07 PM

Not that I'm chicken about speaking my mind, I just don't want Ken to have a cow.

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at November 30, 2006 06:07 PM

(Heck, I can hear him cackling about this already!!!)

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at November 30, 2006 06:08 PM

(And I don't him to crow about this, either.....perhaps I can weasel my way out of this.)

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at November 30, 2006 06:11 PM

BTW, THS, is State Senator Roach trying to ram this bill through the legislature?

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at November 30, 2006 06:12 PM

Say, Jeff, care to supply a mailing address? I have a little "gift" I'd like to send. Just make sure no one else opens it, okay? It's a surprise.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at November 30, 2006 07:16 PM

Ken, I wasn't fishing for a gift! Nor was I egging you on.

I am merely milking this thread for all it was worth.

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at November 30, 2006 10:02 PM

Oh, I know you weren't looking for a gift, Jeff. It's my pleasure. I'm sure you'll get a "bang" out of it.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at December 1, 2006 10:23 AM

``The man who died during the incident suffered a perforated colon after being penetrated by the neighbor's horse, investigators say.''

Given the length of a stallion's member, I'm surprised it didn't punch a hole right through the middle of the guy with the tip poking out of his mouth.

What really mystifies me (in addition to why anyone would want to do this) is how they managed to get the stallion aroused enough to cooperate.
Did they contrive to make themselves smell like mares in heat? And if so, how?

On second thought, I don't think I want to know...

Posted by: Annalucia at December 1, 2006 11:50 AM

I wonder what that guy's obit said. Impaled, perhaps?

Posted by: Rob at December 1, 2006 03:40 PM

One of the things that bugs me the most about my Gostats stats tracking program is that the Number One site for hits and hosts day after day, is The Bestiality Forum. Those clowns get well over 300,000 hits a day every day. That's about as many original hits as Crooks and Liars or Daily Kos get.

It bothers me that there are that many bestiality aficionados out there.

Posted by: jurassicpork at December 2, 2006 05:49 PM

I have a mare that I love to fuck, but only when she is in heat. She is very friendly, and she likes giving me blow jobs.
But I don't think I would ever want a stallion to fuck me in the ass. Anybody who does that must be stupid.
On the other hand, I know a friend who has a colt that likes being fucked in the ass.

Posted by: MareLover at December 15, 2006 02:09 PM