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August 22, 2005

Looking For The Perfect Gift For The Little Woman?

How about an 8'x 4 1/2' abstract painting of a Feminine Naughty Bit*?

I didn't think so.

*Edited for the tender dispositions of some of our faint-hearted contributors.

Posted by Mr. Bingley at August 22, 2005 02:53 PM

Comments

(Did YOU just put the V Word on the front of this tasteful and V-word, P-word AND C-word free blog zone???
DID YOU??)

aaarrrgggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 22, 2005 03:11 PM

Wait a minute! Twennyfivehunnert BUCKS for that?? Oh please, people, buy my paintings. They're a lot less expensive AND can go over the dining room table in a house with minor children.

Plus, I'm so damn nice.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 22, 2005 03:18 PM

It's a nice word.

Wholesome.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 22, 2005 03:31 PM

This is a v-word, p-word, c-word free zone? THS, is there something about you we should know? ;)

Seriously though that's just a piece of ...

Posted by: Cullen at August 22, 2005 03:52 PM

The only prohibition is the c-word.

She's just a pussy about the word vagina on the front.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 22, 2005 04:11 PM

AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!, you BASTARD!!!

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 22, 2005 04:19 PM

And this is exactly why they don't allow most people to use eBay at work...

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 22, 2005 04:31 PM

over $5000 now.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 23, 2005 07:53 AM

$5000? Jeez, I can fine better porn online for free.

Posted by: Ken Summers at August 23, 2005 09:52 AM

Have you checked what kind of trendy wanna be goobers are bidding on it? Bunch of contemporary artists and interior decorator types. Gads. All SITC wannabes.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 23, 2005 10:00 AM

And that would be $6240 sumthin now.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 23, 2005 10:01 AM

THS, you'll be proud of me. In my only post to mention the [you know what] Monologues, I did not once use the v-word. However, I did use it in this one.

Posted by: Ken Summers at August 23, 2005 10:06 AM

BLECH!!! and BLECH AGAIN!!

Yes I would be proud of you for abstaining, but you went and quoted that daffy bitch anyway! Why aren't these same female organ cleverists talking about what the constitution in Iraq is going to do to the female organs of their Iraqi sisters? Ya know why? Cause it takes a whole lot less effort to sit in the Village, get drunk and opine to similarly stoned, over educated morons, because everyone thinks you're a genius that way, then hold an outraged press conference to keep the pressure on the administration because they've already shot any credibility they had with anyone but Katie Couric. (breath). A cafe society of enablers. Who then paint and purchase similarly vapid, tasteless work to prove how liberated and cutting edgey angry they are.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 23, 2005 10:47 AM

If it will make you happy Sis I will not use the v-word again. From now on I will refer to it as the Courtney Love.

Is this acceptable?

(reposted from the other thread because I am a goober)

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 23, 2005 11:41 AM

$8500

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 23, 2005 11:45 AM

(that's a given)

She's almost as tasteless and revolting as the picture, but it's acceptable.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 23, 2005 12:08 PM

This doesn't even begin to plumb the depths of tastelessness. There's more than one V word, you know.

Posted by: Suzette at August 23, 2005 12:38 PM

Oh, Suzette! ICK, you're right. I forgot. Blech and blech again, plus I'm equally sure there's a painting somewhere. Or will be as soon as they see what this one's going for.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 23, 2005 12:49 PM

There's more than one V word, you know.

There is?

Don't you women ever think of anything else?

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 23, 2005 01:10 PM

SEVENTEENthousanddollahs now.

SE

VEN

TEEN

You done been out bid, brother Bingley.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 23, 2005 01:20 PM

One of the funniest comments of the year over at Suzette's place.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 23, 2005 01:26 PM

Oh, so that's the other V-word.

I thought it was 'volvo'.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 23, 2005 01:30 PM

Geesh, 17,000 clams for that.

Amazing.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 23, 2005 01:38 PM

YOU

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 23, 2005 01:40 PM

are

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 23, 2005 01:40 PM

a

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 23, 2005 01:41 PM

puerco GORDO!!!

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 23, 2005 01:42 PM

See. I was thinking vasectomy.

But I should probably keep my mouth shut. Loose lips, you know.

Posted by: Cullen at August 23, 2005 02:10 PM

Hmmmmm. I was thinking "virgin" myself. So much for telepathy.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at August 23, 2005 02:25 PM

Ventriloquist? That's a mouth-shut and non-loose lips, right Cullen?

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 23, 2005 02:30 PM

Mr. B,
I don't know about ventriloquist. While mouth shut and tight-lipped, I'd have to get Charlie McCarthy's take on having a hand shoved up your ass.

Posted by: Cullen at August 23, 2005 02:48 PM

And talking about a hand up your ass -- EIGHTEEN THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!

Posted by: Cullen at August 23, 2005 03:06 PM

$22,000+

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 23, 2005 03:54 PM

Man, that's a lotta clams [crap. I think I just stepped in it...]

Posted by: Ken Summers at August 23, 2005 03:59 PM

Gratuitous ------ shot

Posted by: Ken Summers at August 23, 2005 04:03 PM

25,000+

So silly makes me want to break into song.

Posted by: Cullen at August 23, 2005 10:32 PM

Gack, gackgack, gackgack.

Gack.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 23, 2005 11:03 PM

Cullen, that is so twisted I'm ashamed that I didn't come up with it.

Posted by: Ken Summers at August 23, 2005 11:10 PM

Speaking of "ventriloquist"....I've never seen the V****** Dialogs. Does that have a ventriloquist act in it, or what?

Posted by: The Real JeffS at August 24, 2005 05:19 AM

It got THS speaking Martian a la Mars Attacks. And if you haven't offended your host at least once a week, what good are you really?

Posted by: Cullen at August 24, 2005 06:44 AM

"Do not run. We are your friends."

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 24, 2005 08:58 AM

$33K +. Good lord! It's idiotic. I'm not sure who'll read this, perhaps it's only an exercise in self gratification, but I had to post it.

Posted by: Cullen at August 24, 2005 03:44 PM

I read it. And my eyes are bleeding.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 24, 2005 04:18 PM

Really - that painting is so crappy. I can't iamgine that an art collector would want it, and if its TV buffs who are bidding against each other, one would think that Beaver Cleaver's bedspread would more a desireable object. If it is a fan of the show, boy - are they going to be embarrassed to admit that in about 2 years.

Posted by: Suzette at August 24, 2005 08:40 PM

Hey! How come Suzette doesn't get in trouble for saying "beaver"? Not fair!

Posted by: Ken Summers at August 24, 2005 09:56 PM

Yes. Now I'm quite confused. For the record, purely hypothetical of course, what about poonany, poontang, or trim?

Posted by: Cullen at August 25, 2005 08:08 AM

P.S. 37K Now that's Park Avenue P-word.

Posted by: Cullen at August 25, 2005 08:11 AM

Isn't Poontang the President of Russia?

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at August 25, 2005 08:50 AM

No, B, I think he's from China

Posted by: Ken Summers at August 25, 2005 10:39 AM

Poontang

Malaysia.

And bad Suzette! Bad! Bad!
(Okay, Mr. PottyMouthTooCleverByHalf Summers?)

Posted by: tree hugging sister at August 25, 2005 10:43 AM

Sounds like that Hawaiian king, Kemonawannalaya.

Posted by: Ken Summers at August 25, 2005 12:49 PM