The Coalition of the Swilling

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Got that?

Now, for my helpful "Rules of Engagement":

1. It's their ocean, not yours. Never forget that.
2. The is your friend. NEVER EVER swim before/at dawn or close to dusk. Sharks like to feed when it's dark, since fishies can't see them. And, coincidentally, neither can you.
3. Do NOT swim near a guy with a pole and a handfull of bloody bait or rotting shrimp. That trail of goo is to a shark and he will be coming to find it, especially if the guy with the pole is reeling something in. The thrashing of that fish only energizes the
' for dinner' circuit in his little shark brain. You don't want to be in the way, 'cause he's coming in a big hurry with his mouth OPEN, to chomp the very first thing his fishwips touch.
4. Never EVER get in if the water is . Sharks have shitty eyesight and won't see your lilly white in the two feet of water next to the fish their nose tells them is there.
5. Should you see in the water, don't go splashing along to see what they are, or head off in a mad frenzy toward shore. is bad. Be calm, be vertical, be still, be not a , lest you become .

Okay. I've done my civic duty. Most shark attacks are cases of people visiting the area, getting in the water come hell or high..you know...because a vacation costs MONEY and they'll be damned if they're going to miss one second of time paid for. (Especially if kids are screaming 'but it looks okaaaayyyyyy, so why nnnooottttt???!!!!!') And, in all honesty, because they just don't know any better. Now you do. So be careful out there. Aloha.