The Coalition of the Swilling

That foul envelope, duct taped to our front door, has forever changed our lives. In it was a ransom demand:

And a picture of so horrifying a nature as to be almost unbearable. What sort of bastardly FIENDS could do such a thing????

Fortunately, clues abound. First, the captive birds are flamingos not pelicans, so we can rule out any ornithologist in Pensacola. Secondly, 'pelicans' is cut out in one complete word and always CAPITALIZED, which is coincidentally the name of our local baseball team. Third and most importantly, there has been a long litany of complaints lodged against said flamingos by a certain curmudgeonly and anti-pink neighbor. Miller Lite, indeed. Marines don't negotiate with terrorists. And definately NOT with ex-Navy types.

Stay tuned for further developments, as events will be moving rapidly.
UPDATE:
Our answer...

...and it's delivery.

Now we wait.