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March 07, 2005

Wonder Woman

After reading the latest version of the Giuliana Sgrena saga, all I can say is Lynda Carter had nothin' on this chick. Why, we learn that even though she faced, according to her fellow il Manifesto columnist Rossana Rossanda (who I believe must be related to noted American journalist Roseanne Roseannadanna)

"arrogant Yankee roughnecks, beardless and/or whisky-soused, complying with the “American maxim, ‘shoot first, ask questions later?,’ and obeying without objection the order ‘when those Italians arrive, eliminate them’”
and Sgrena’s kind hearted Merry Men of Mosul told her,
“the Americans don’t want you to go back,” adding her own comment that they - the Americans again - “don’t want our work to show what Iraq has become with the war, despite the so-called elections.”
even though her
car was hit by “400 bullets, a storm of projectiles”
she managed to dodge most of them even as they were flying and falling all about her, for
she personally picked “handfuls of bullets” off the seat.

Yes, due to her brave actions and timely use of her magic bracelets only one poor soul died in this tragic accident, and Giuliana is doing all she can to have his memory replaced with her agenda.

(hat tip to LGF)

Posted by Mr. Bingley at March 7, 2005 07:31 PM

Comments

"Handfuls of bullets"? Yep, I was right, .177 caliber. That or the car was upholstered in Kevlar.

Posted by: John at March 7, 2005 08:29 PM

But the bracelets John! They're powerful.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 7, 2005 08:31 PM

Jeez. You'd think a commie imbecile could make up a better lie than that.

Posted by: Ken Summers at March 7, 2005 10:15 PM

Besides the fact that bullets don't usually come to rest until they've embedded themselves in something, she claims a tank was shooting at her. If we wanted her dead, an HE round from an M1 would have taken care of it.

There's also the whole "walk up to the disabled car and finish off the people inside" routine. Which our negligent death squads seem to have left out.

Posted by: Bill McCabe at March 7, 2005 11:09 PM

Bill, I've picked up bullets I've fired through thin steel targets, but somehow I don't think she was driving an up-armored sedan.

Posted by: John at March 8, 2005 08:35 AM

In the comments for the post below I asked REFUSING to STOP, the day after the U.S. hits 1500 of our kids dead, with HOW MANY from suicide bombers and IED's.

That answer would be (and more) An internal Pentagon information memo states, "This is war. About 500 American service members have been killed by hostile fire while operating on Iraqi streets and highways. The journalist was driving in pitch-dark and at a high speed and failed, according to the first reports, to respond to numerous warnings. Besides, there is no indication that the Italian security forces made prior arrangements to facilitate the transition to the airport.", Alex.

And now they have a few dollars more. Our thanks to the Italians, magic bracelets and stern internal constitutions.

Yeah, what Dave said.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at March 8, 2005 09:00 AM

John, how far had those bullets travelled after penetrating the steel? Somehow I think a bit more than the 6" it took for them to fall on the seat into Wonder Woman's waiting hands.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 8, 2005 09:19 AM

Geek tangent, but there's been ongoing speculation about who might play Wonder Woman. Probably best to drop the idea, at least for the indefinite future: for some reason, Marvel characters have done alright on screen, but ever since Joel Schumacher took over directing the Batman frachise, it's been all downhill for DC (see, e.g., *shudder* Catwoman).

Posted by: Dave J at March 8, 2005 09:22 AM

Mr. B., that's a complicated calculation that depends on the grade and thickness of the steel, and the caliber and power of the round fired. But automobile steel wouldn't do squat unless you were using a .22 short.

I seem to remember an apocryphal tale of Clyde Barrow writing to Henry Ford to thank him for using such high grade, thick steel on his Model Ts - those suckers were built like tanks. There was also an old, post-war Lada that used armored car steel, which the Russians in their characteristically un-PC and anti-semitic parlance called the "Jewish Tank". Somehow, I think Wonder Woman was riding in neither model.

Posted by: John at March 8, 2005 11:28 AM

Well it actually wouldn't surprise me if it was a Lada of some sort, but yeah, i'm thinking it wasn't one of those you mentioned.

It's the bracelets, man.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 8, 2005 12:37 PM

She should be wearing bracelets of a different sort...

Posted by: Nightfly at March 10, 2005 01:28 PM