The Coalition of the Swilling

hrumpf.

I think I look great in green

Oh for the love of humanity, Charles, CLOSE YOUR LEGS!

As long as you know what works for you.

Charles is just showing he's got nothing to hide, Ken...

What's that stupid kilt ditty you're always singing?

The Scotsman's Song

Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt once left a bar one evening fair,
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share.
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet.
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o,
Ring die diddley i o.
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street..

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by.
One said to the other with a twinkle in her eye.
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built.
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o,
Ring die diddley i o.
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be,
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o,
Ring die diddley i o.
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

They marveled for a moment and then one said we must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along.
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow,
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o,
Ring die diddley i o.
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show.

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward the trees.
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes,
Oh! lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o,
Ring die diddley i o.
Oh! lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize.

That one?

That very damn dumb ditty indeed!

THS, it's a good bet that no one ever gave Mr. Bingley a blue ribbon for anything, unless it was a can of beer under that brand name.

He is, as you're well aware JeffS, a can-i-sewer of fine swill.

I love Charles' dirk-in-the-sock. You think it's a butter knife?

Actually, JeffS, this is what I drank a lot of in college:

Rats, it won't let me post the image. Here's the link.

Kroger CostCutter Beer, or, as we fondly referred to it, "Screaming Yeller".

I seem to recall it being at or below $2 a sixpack, which was music to our ears.

Fyi, Nightfly: http://www.oregonknifeclub.org/dubh.html

Great article, Dave. One of my cousins married a gent descended from the Scots, and he and the stag section of the wedding party went for the full regalia, including the knives. (I know for a fact that the best man's sgian dubh was, in fact, the genuine and not a mock-up.)

Hey, THS and I used to play the pipes (I still have my set in the closet).

And one time we tried to make haggis using Crusader, but "Crusader Abuse" is a different topic entirely.

No no no, YOU are the piper in the clan, getting the dog to howl and hearts to swoon! I merely learned to squeak competently on the chanter and sound like I knew what I was about. (All in a failed effort to get that babe Jimmy to ask me out.)

"Crusader Abuse" is a whole blog's worth unto itself.

"Sgian dubh" is pronounced "skeen doo", by the way.