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March 11, 2005

Holy Sheet !!

For those of you who think there isn't enough government intrusion in our lives, I offer this little gem Major Dad found in our daily Fish Wrap. Now appearing, to our utter constipa consternation, on the web, for the whole freakin' world to see.

Florida

That extra squeeze is gonna cost you big time. Bingley's Road Rage Marauder has nothin' on this.

Posted by tree hugging sister at March 11, 2005 12:13 PM

Comments

Crap! That'll wipe some people clean out. I thought you guys were flush with cash? What was Jeb's roll in all of this? It maybe be part of a bolder, 2-ply strategy...

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 11, 2005 12:49 PM

Potty mouth.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at March 11, 2005 01:02 PM

It should be known hence forth as the 'Poop Penalty' and will impact those fat rich bastards we all hate and revile. The more money you have, the more you eat, thereby more poop and pay. The state'll clean-up.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at March 11, 2005 01:33 PM

That sounds like a Charmin(g) tax............

Posted by: Crusader at March 11, 2005 04:37 PM

That's nothing. The Jersey Legislature can do one better - eliminate the middle-man! Tax them when they actually poop! They'll install meters to read the output from each residence.

Geez, the lengths some people will go to lay hands on other people's money.

Posted by: Nightfly at March 11, 2005 06:54 PM

Maybe install a scale in each toilet, Nightfly, so you 'weigh-as-you-go' like at a chinese buffet

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 12, 2005 09:46 AM

Naw, Mr. Bingley, they'll put a counter on the flush handle, with the resulting count totted up monthly. I hope you aren't too cheap!

This reminds me of a guy who was so cheap that he bought two-ply toilet paper. He peeled the layers apart so that the roll would last longer.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at March 12, 2005 09:51 AM

"Please! Don't squeeze the taxpayer!"

Posted by: Gunslinger at March 12, 2005 10:11 AM

I suppose this was #2 on his agenda....

Posted by: Crusader at March 12, 2005 12:10 PM

Looks like it's time for another Boston Tea Party...

or rather a Florida TP party.

I'm dead serious. gather a few thousand protestors and a few thousand rolls of Charmin and leave no government building TP-less.

If you can manage to use the building's own supply of toilet tissue to do it, more the better.
The exercise of harvesting some TP off the trees every time they visit the sandbox might do those flaccid pasty politicians some good.

Posted by: RHJunior at March 12, 2005 06:50 PM

That's what I get for doing chores all day. All the good jokes have been taken.

But of course, one can always refuse to pay the tax. That's why God invented mail order catalogs...

Posted by: Ken Summers at March 12, 2005 08:07 PM

Or you could use the local newspaper. Unless you live on a farm, and have a readily available supply of corn cobs.

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at March 13, 2005 02:48 AM

I once saw a cartoon whose setting was an outhouse. The caption was "Who's the idjit that wrapped paper around the corn cob?"

Posted by: Ken Summers at March 13, 2005 08:11 PM

I like Crusader's idea. (And I'm a Floridian... with a fairly normal Florida attitude to raising any taxes...). Wouldn't be at all surprised if a few government buildings got 'rolled'.

Posted by: Kathy K at March 13, 2005 09:13 PM

If you use the NYT JeffS you unfortunately end up with more shit than you started with.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 13, 2005 09:42 PM

That's why God invented mail order catalogs...

I know the end is near when I have to mail order that.


I think we need Dave back in Tallahassee. STOP the MADNESS! Vote DAVE!!

Posted by: tree hugging sister at March 14, 2005 10:11 AM